After quite a long break……here I am…..back and posting again. My days here are as uneventful as ever. Probably just the way I would prefer them to be at this stage. With time, I have developed a liking for this slow life of mine. Do not really feel comfortable when events are imposed on me……..
I have been feeling rather weird lately………A kind of sensation that I can neither explain nor understand. Only feel as if something is missing………..a place in my world has been left vacant and the void is tiring me down with the passage of time. Everyday, after waking up……..I feel exhausted……as if all my strength has been drained.
My dreams are weirder and more vague than they ever have been. Neither is my reality an improvement. Everything appears very shallow and vague to me. My perception……my vision……my fantasies……every single thing appears clouded now. All this……without any conceivable reason!!!!.
Every single second…….I implore and question the reason for this present state of mind……but my queries always go unanswered. It is as if…..subconsciously, something has been bothering me………some calamity…the nature of which I am not consciously aware of. And it really is nagging me now....also……I am fearing it greatly. I fear the nature of a reality which is disturbing me so much even when I find myself unaware of it……oblivious to it……..
I have always believed in my dreams and my reasons. Now…..I find them both clouded without any conceivable reason. For the only thing I am presently bothered by is this state of mind. I just don’t understand all this!!!!!!